Others See...
        I Feel...

Others see a laugh
        I feel the weight of gravity trying to lift the corners of my frown

Others see a tear
        I feel the pressure of holding back, daring not to let it all flow

Others see a strength
        I feel the weariness of indecision

Others see a face they expect to see
        I feel the betrayal to myself, always trying to fit the mold they have set for me

Can mere mortals only judge me?
        Why can't they just love me?
 
 

A ROAD'S JOURNEY

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Today, I start down a road that is unfamiliar to me.

I always had company on the roads I journeyed before.
But those roads were rocky and rough, full of pain.

The road I start down today will be full of twists and turns.
I know not where this road leads me.

I hope to travel this new road with a new outlook.
I am the driver now, I set the direction to go.

I pray I avoid the potholes that captured me before.
I must travel down the road that is best for me.

I am not being selfish, Lord.
I just can't allow any more pain.
The pain was killing me.

Help me to not build a wall around my heart.
I am full of genuine love, to give freely, unselfishly.
Its hard to hold that in check, let me not make a mistake again.
 

IF I CLOSE MY EYES

If I close my eyes, I can see you here next to me
I can see your smile and look into your eyes

If I close my eyes and slip into our world
I can feel your breath upon my cheek

If I close my eyes and reach out for you
I can see you reaching out for me

If I close my eyes and listen to you
I can hear you calling out to me

If I close my eyes, my heart fills in the missing pieces
I can see you here and make a fantasy seem real

If I close my eyes . . . .